I'm not kissing anyone— [ Remus tells the ceiling, half-preoccupied with keeping his abs tensed and somewhat deserving of all this praise and petting. That's a real answer, a temporary flash of seriousness, but not very melancholy. Even cheerful. Who needs to kiss girls (teenagers! they were all teenagers, this is very unfair) when your friends are there to pat your abs and not be in prison or in distant, untouchable universes. ]

—because I love you, and only you. [ He looks back down, directly into Kate's eyes, and does not talk into her imaginary microphone only because he is only distantly familiar with the concept of microphones. ] I've loved you since the day I first swabbed your deck, and I will never love another.

[ He sounds and looks very sincere, up until the point where he turns his attention to Sirius and raises his eyebrows, seeking approval or further narration or both. ]