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[ Kate had sort of just assumed there wouldn't be follow-up; usually Johanna doesn't care enough about her life to ask questions.

She lies there for a minute and debates her answer, tests out words on her tongue until she finds some her brain and whatever hold the ship has on it will allow. It doesn't seem fair to lie, even if she could. Barely fair to dodge, and she has limited options for how to do that. But telling isn't really an equal trade; Johanna's only telling her while she's telling...Johanna. ]

All sorts of things, lately. This ship is a great place to acquire new nightmares. I still wake up choking thinking my own hands are around my throat. [ She rolls her eyes at herself as soon as she's said it. It's true and it's been genuinely disturbing but right now it's so transparently an attempt to avoid telling her the actual answer to her question that it's even worse than just refusing. She sighs, and lifts a hand to scratch at her forehead. Whatever. Who cares. This shouldn't still be this hard anyway, right? ]

When I was fourteen I was attacked and raped, it was about that. [ And then she begins a countdown to Johanna earning a matching black eye. ]

[The long silence means that she's probably going to lie. That's okay: Johanna would have lied too, if she'd been able to. She had just felt so tired. She still feels tired. Another ten minutes, maybe, and she'll be back out of it.

The hand thing that Kate says, that's real. But it's not as real as the second part. Just from the way that Kate says it, she knows that it's true.

Johanna doesn't say anything. She doesn't roll onto her side, move closer to Kate, put an arm around her. She doesn't acknowledge it for a few moments, nearly a full minute. Just the two of them, in the dark of the room. Dark is the closest that the ship can get to natural light.

Blind, with her eyes still closed, she lays her hand between them--not really between, more on their thighs, where their legs are pressed together. Palm up, fingers uncurled. It's not the same as taking Kate's hand, but it's there.]

[ Kate's steeled herself for Johanna's response enough not to flinch at the touch, but this wasn't at all what she'd anticipated, even further from what she'd feared.

She doesn't move right away, waiting a moment the way Johanna did. Not quite as long, but she wouldn't want to seem too eager. (That isn't all it is, this isn't a time or an offering that deserves that level of skeptical gamesmanship, but it crosses her mind.) It's such an unexpected gesture, beyond rare, that she wants to give it the weight it deserves even if it's something they're probably never going to acknowledge happening now or later.

So it's a heartbeat or two of stillness, and then Kate sets her palm atop Johanna's and curls her fingers between hers, grip firm. ]

[She curls her fingers up in response, pressing their palms together--still without acknowledging any of it, or saying anything to Kate. Because there's no point in saying sorry, or asking about it, or anything. It happened. That's it. She gets it.

She settles back against the pillow, her eyes still closed, fully content to leave their conversation right there. It will take a long time for sleep to come back to her--if it ever does, tonight. But she also doesn't want to talk anymore.]

[ They've said everything they need to say, and Kate's likewise content to leave it at that, even though it means lying in silence staring at the ceiling or the inside of her own head for the next few hours. That's what she often does anyway, so this is an improvement.

She's not going to try to force it, but she'll keep hold of Johanna's hand as long as it's offered, even when she eventually dozes off an hour or two before 'morning'. ]

[Johanna doesn't sleep. At best, she dozes, but she's always quick to jerk awake soon after. And she doesn't unknit her fingers from Kate's, but leaves her hand where it is, palm pressed close.

Hours go by like this, until at last Johanna is done with it. She shakes free of Kate's had and pushes herself to sit up, so she can start to crawl over Kate and get out.]

[ Kate's hand is easily pried off but she wakes as soon as Johanna starts crawling, startling half up onto an elbow and looking around. But she's quick to figure out where she is and what's happening and she eases back, eyes already half-shut again. She reaches up to brush knuckles a little clumsily against Johanna's ribs as she passes. ]

y'okay? [ It's a sleepy mumble but she cracks one eye open a little wider to try to check. Just leaving, or is something wrong? ]

Yeah.

[Her voice still sounds rough. She rubs the back of her hand against her throat, briskly, the movement surprisingly crisp and sharp despite whatever hour it is.]

I'll be back. Later.

[She wipes her newly freed hand against the leg of her shorts. And she hasn't shifted off the bed yet, but takes the moment to tug at her shirt, pulling it down. The skim of Kate's fingers left a warm little trail that's not exactly faded.]

Edited 2015-02-01 03:11 (UTC)

Kay. [ Kate's easily assured and seemingly near to drifting back off, cheek rubbed against the pillow and lids sinking lower as she gives Johanna's side another half-conscious rub and lets her arm flop back across her own stomach after. ] See you later.

[She lifts her hands to her hair, making sure to avoid the second brush of Kate's fingers just as much as she can. There's a beat, when she looks back at Kate, already laid sleepily across her pillow.

And then she huffs, once, quietly, something of a laugh.]

That's it?

[This is nearly her regular tone again, hoarse though it is.]

[ Kate fumbles back awake a degree, slow to process, reluctant to keep putting sleep off in case it skitters away again and doesn't come back, but making an attempt to re-engage. She tips her head up a little bit out of the pillow, and blinks eyes wider, pushing her eyebrows up like it's an easier way to lift her eyelids. It works on the one that isn't currently swollen half-shut; the other side she drops as the pull immediately starts aching. ]

What?

Edited 2015-02-01 04:13 (UTC)

Nothing. Shut up.

[She reaches over to push Kate's face--a little gently, a little not--and she's not sorry at all about accidentally prodding at the bruised bit of her face with the edge of her thumb.]

You're just a little stupid.

[Which is goodbye, and she shoves herself to her feet with a sigh, wiping her hand against the leg of her shorts again.]

Oww. [ Kate bats at Johanna's hand and tries frowning but frowning kind of hurts, too. None of it's serious anyway, which should be clear when her comeback is ] Your face is a little stupid.

[ Johanna stands and Kate shifts partly into the space she vacates, tipping onto her side and settling in again. ]

[Wow, Kate, wow. Johanna very briefly rolls her eyes at that response, and it's a pity that Kate is mostly asleep, because it's very nearly a fond sort of eyeroll, a wordless bless yer heart Kate Bishop. This is what she gets instead of a peck on the cheek or a pat on the head.

Well, that, and Johanna doesn't smack her in the face or something--which is a far more practical demonstration of affection, coming from Johanna.

Instead, she just grabs up her axe and leaves. Maybe the all night handholding was just a dream!]

[Later.....

Maybe Kate really can mark this down as a success, because Johanna--perhaps defying expectations, and certainly defying the assumption that all that handholding was, in fact, a dream--does come back, later. 'Much later' is still later. She's calmer, cleaner--and she's back to forceful, in the way that she kisses Kate, in the way that she peels off her clothes and pushes her hands against her. All control and no uncertainty. This is different than holding hands--it's a little too rough to be interpreted with any loving sweetness--but she's careful, too, in her way.

And hours later from that 'later', she's laying, mostly quiet but not still, fingernails tracing an idle pattern against the bare flesh of Kate's stomach. Sometimes that touch is a little too rough, too, little pink impressions left behind by the pricking of her fingernails--but they're quick to fade, and they don't actually hurt. Conversation seems pretty unnecessary now, in this dozy after part. Johanna drags her fingers back down again, and then removes her hand entirely, sets it down on the bed so she can heave herself up. She stretches her arms over her head, her legs dangling over the side of the bed. And then she bends, to find her socks, pull them on to her feet. This is a familiar routine, getting prepared to leave.]

[ Kate's pleased to see Johanna when she returns; she doesn't say it, obviously, but it's there in the tilted curve of her smile and how easily she falls back onto the bed, the eager way she moves under the press of her hands and her mouth. She's still pliant later and quiet too, sprawled out scrolling idly through the network on her comm in an effort to stay awake, occasionally lowering it to give Johanna a look when her fingernails catch or tickle.

When she shifts and starts getting dressed, Kate finishes whatever she's typing and tips onto her side to watch. ]

You don't have to go, you know.

Edited 2015-02-03 17:04 (UTC)

[She doesn't look back at Kate, or smile at her, or stop dressing. Both socks pulled on, she grabs for her t-shirt, balled up on the floor, and tugs it on over her head.

The comment gives her a moment of pause, but it's all turned inward, only represented to Kate by a brief silence.]

Please. I can't cuddle for that long.

[Because clearly, what's happening here is, Kate's asking to cuddle. Which they've been doing (sort of). And now she's done.]

[ Oh is that what they've been doing? Kate wasn't really sure, and wouldn't have chosen 'cuddling' anyway just because the word and Johanna seem like opposites that don't attract. Whatever they call it, she has to admit she kinda liked it. Except she doesn't have to admit it because nobody asked her directly.

So she snorts, not bothering to roll her eyes all the way around, just up behind her lids for a second. ]

I wasn't asking you to. I'm just saying: if you want to crash here instead of the thirty floor lift ride [ in a normal elevator no trip at all but on the TQ who knows ] you're welcome to.

[never admit it]

Aww. Are you asking me to move in.

[It's not a question, exactly. Johanna looks back at Kate now, flat and sarcastic. The curl of her mouth might look a little like a smile, but it isn't.]

Yes. [ Kate can deadpan right back at her, brows dropped flat and low over a dry look. ] I mean we are engaged now, aren't we?

[ This time she rolls her eyes for real, and flops over onto her stomach to reach for the comm she'd set aside. ] You know what I meant so I'll just take this as a no. Too bad, I like morning sex. [ But not so much that she isn't already back to typing. Look, Johanna, look at how little she cares. ]

[Johanna rolls her eyes right back. She's genuinely irritated, but the hugeness of the movement is more to mock Kate than demonstrate her feelings. Like wow. With a huff of breath, she grabs for her shorts, lifts her hips up off of the bed a little so she can pull them on without actually standing.

Beneath her sarcasm and irritation, Johanna really does know what Kate is suggesting--and her caginess was probably anticipated, to a degree. It's easier to be a bitch than to feel any real feeling, to second guess herself--or, worse, to let herself think of what it means, that Kate would offer-- that. Keeping people closed out can still work even if they're making kind and patient offers. You just have to work harder at it. Be bitchier.]

Come on, I didn't even whittle you a ring yet. You're that easy?

[Seeking an argument instead of seeking attention usually works better.]

[ Kate's made her point, and Johanna clearly understands the offer or she wouldn't be dancing weirdly around it trying to piss Kate off. It's not unexpected-- if anything it took a lot longer than she thought it would to get to the point where Johanna shoves her away and starts needling to compensate for whatever slight dropping of walls occurred for a few hours there. She gets it, sort of.

She's not going to make the offer again or press any further, but she's also not so easily riled today. Instead of getting irritated she grins at Johanna's dig and pitches her voice up an octave or so, bats her lashes over her shoulder. ]

But you're so good with trees, I just know you'll whittle me the prettiest ring there ever was.

Edited 2015-02-03 19:52 (UTC)

[Some days, there's no way to combat Johanna's bitchiness, days where even ignoring it won't work, where she works really hard to be unbearable. Ignoring her just pisses her off.

Today isn't that day. Despite her defensiveness, Johanna grins at Kate's simpering routine. She leans back on her hands, elbows locked.]

How do you know I'm good with trees. You've never seen anything.

You're just so good at everything! Climbing them, and chopping them up, and dressing like them.

[ Kate keeps up the act just that little bit longer before dropping it with a lingering curve of a smile. She pushes up a little further onto her forearms, and turns to look back without quit so much neck-wrenching. ]

Did you ever have a treehouse?

[Dressing like them oh HA HA HA]

Shut up.

[More fond than genuinely irritated. The tree dresses weren't her fault. There's a line that could be crossed when it comes to making fun of them, but since they really did suck, it's usually okay. (Usually.)]

Are you asking me that because, oh, District 7, trees, tree-houses-- [in other words are you still making fun of her] --or because you're really asking.

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