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I heard inflagrante, [ Remus says loyally, while trying very hard to fall asleep, since they have left him here. Alone. And he's very good at falling asleep, even when he doesn't have the benefit of a sofa to sprawl out on, whenever and wherever he wants. He nearly manages it now. His brain has gone a bit white-noisy and distant by the time Kate puts a cold can to his neck and makes him flinch halfway to sitting up. ]

God, Kate.

[ It's fine. He's fine. He slides up the sofa just enough to prop his head and shoulders up semi-upright while the rest of him stays flat, opens the beer, and moves a leg to put one of his feet on Sirius' shoulder and try to wiggle him, whether or not he's sat up as well by then. ]

That's a good question. Why don't you two kiss and I'll do the voyeuristic narration? Having broken the heart of her pining cabin boy, for his own good of course, Captain Kate went—somewhere, brig maybe, something something, notorious, roguish, and very pretty pirate Josephat [ right? ] Black... snogging.

[ What a good story. ]

Jose-prat. Arrrgh, me hearties.

[Still propped up on elbows and forearms, Sirius has managed to exercise a limited bit of coordination, enough to pry open his space beer. Now he is concentrating on drinking it, and on the pressure of Remus' foot against his shoulder which is, he thinks, a nice weight. If he were a dog right now he would roll over to maneuver for a belly rub. He considers doing it now, fully human, but decides that he would spill his beer and so does not.

Instead he grins, vaguely, at nothing, and lolls his head back so he can turn that grin up on the both of them. Even sloppily drunk and bleary-eyed and stretched out on the floor, there is something in his features that unfairly makes all of that look kind of cool. Notorious and roguish and pretty indeed. Smolder smolder smolder.]

I'm on the floor.

[Sound reasoning. He elbows the floor tiles.]

This, it's the brig. I'm on the floor and I'll kiss anyone, but they've got to be on the floor and no one else is. Except-- space beer. [He raises said space beer and squints at it--then slurps at the top.] Mmg. There. Your turn. Come on, don't disappoint me. It's nearly my space birthday. Notorious rrroguish, very pre-- pretty? 'Pretty'. Can you change that bit.

How about you two kiss and I'll do the voyeuristic whatevering.

[ Kate is being very sarcastic, as she stands with her beer looking at Sirius on the floor sprawling like a half dead fish but somehow still smoldering roguishly and Remus trying to fall asleep while taking up the entire couch. This won't do. ]

Alright, up, both of you. [ She pats her hand on Sirius's head and tugs at his shoulder, while pulling on Remus's knee. ] You are released from the brig and we are all going to be on this couch and you are going to like it. If you're both very good maybe I'll kiss somebody.

[ Details of arrangement beyond 'couch, everyone, dibs on middle' she hasn't quite worked out yet if she can get them moving at all she's aiming generally for a lot of that draping over each other there was earlier. That was nice, and warm, but not too warm. She takes another swig of beer and is careful to hold it out of danger, which means some maneuvering to avoid elbows and tippy angles and an occasionally awkward two fingered grip on sweaters and jumpsuits when used haul boys around where she wants them. ]

Edited 2015-04-23 15:40 (UTC)

[ Remus makes a whining noise when he's forced to sit up, but otherwise he's a good sport about it, mostly, other than insisting that his legs remain on the sofa with the rest of him—so stretched out over or under the other occupants, whichever, and he's twisted sideways and surveying them both with bleary affection over the rim of his beer can. ]

All right.

After some things happen, [ please take over Sirius this isn't his bag ] Captain Kate, who apparently wants her heartbroken cabin boy to kiss anyone but her, finds herself trapped on a lifeboat with said cabin boy and said notorious pirate Prat Black, who is pretty in a very manly and dangerous way, like a sharp dagger— [ This is off topic. He picks up a strand of Kate's hair and repositions it for no particular reason. ]

Sharks. There are sharks around the lifeboat. We'll probably all die here.

[Headpatting is good, headpatting is great, headpatting appeals to Sirius on such an intrinsic happy level that he shifts himself forward with a pleased hgnrghf, in contrast to piteous werewolf whines. General crawling forward, general crawling onto sofa, under legs o' Lupin and leaned up against Kate once more, and Sirius settles in, mashing his cheek against her upper arm.]

O tempora o mores.

[Solemn intonation with mouth of t-shirt.]

--Sssaid the notorious pirate Jesoprat Black, newly freed from his brig 'cos the ship sank under the weight of broken hearts and secret abdominal muscles that glisten o so viriley--you really oughta check 'em out--

Sharks!

[A sudden shout, and he sits up to stare over at his sofa companions. Very pretty manly dashing.]

He's right! Arrgh, it's sharks. We'll have to kill them between us, barehanded. Beerhanded. Can't waste the beer, 'cos we're surrounded by salt water, we have to conserve. Thirst. So it's shark fights or head for the distant shore of the deserted island. Desert isle. Dessert aisle. Which is it, buckos? I ain't goin' down without a fight either way, not after being freed from theee, the brig. Of which I'm so so grateful. Whose idea was that? Cap'ns? Can't be.

An' Cap'n Kate, she tossed her gorgeous hair, and she said--

[He touches his index finger to Kate's lips. Expectant.]

[ Kate is once again struggling to stop laughing, quiet but shoulders shaking with it as she gets comfortable tipped against Remus's chest, sort of between legs with Sirius propped on her shoulder. She loops her arm around his neck, half-hugging his head to her chest, still all laughter, just barely containing her smile long enough to purse her lips against the tip of his finger. ]

And she said that she's never had a more ridiculous crew and she'd definitely never have brought them along if she'd known they'd end up getting her trapped surrounded by sharks blocking the way to the dessert aisle. But since they're almost out of beer anyway there's nothing left to do but to die in a bloody but glorious shark battle so she supposes just this once she could be merciful.

[ Which means they finally get their kisses, apparently. Or at least Sirius does, as Kate taps his chin with a finger and hunches down to bring her mouth to his. It's not a peck but it's more friendly than romantic, a soft press of closed lips. She has a hand on Remus's knee, the one over both their laps, and if he makes a move like he might extricate himself, he'll get a squeeze. ]

[ He earns that squeeze, definitely, although his goal was less to untangle himself from the two people currently kissing on and/or under his legs—which would have been a pretty noble goal, let's be clear about that, if he were sober enough for nobility—as to sit up a little straighter, which in turn allows him to lean back against the arm of the sofa with an air of drama and exasperation instead of just an air of slumpy drunkenness. ]

All the things that I want, she says. Cute hair and surprising abs, she says.

[ For the record: he's not serious. Or Sirius. Or owed anything. He's only teasing, and just as quickly abandoning said teasing to pour what's left of his watery space lager into his mouth, since his mouth has nothing better to do. (Teasing.) ]

[Friendly kisses are as welcome as any other. At the press of Kate's mouth--closed lips and all--the buzzy warm feeling in Sirius' head increases, a gentle rise of decibels. It's a nice kiss. Weird angle, still nice. Tastes a little of space beer. But he's good; he was right about Kate. And he doesn't really disappoint, for his part, drunk though he is, closed mouths though they have.

Until he grins, that is; until Remus' words filter their way in and Sirius almost laughs. Pulling out of the kiss means bumping his nose against Kate's, but he doesn't do anything to correct that. Too lazy.]

I said surprising abs. I think.

[Talking bumps his mouth against Kate's, too, but the only correction he makes to that end is to sigh and settle himself down on her--whatever bits of him are on her, all tangled as they are. Face in crook of neck, ish. Something something.]

I knew you were a good kisser. [Right: pirate.] Argrrrr. Kiss your cabin boy before the sharks get him, they go for abs first. Then kiss me again, f'-- luck.

Whining is unattractive, she says.

[ Kate rolls her eyes but that's teasing, too, and she bumps her nose and her forehead back against Sirius's before she pulls away. For all his perfect cheekbones and rakish hair and such it's all very lazy, no real heat but a cozy sort of warmth, tactile affection, giving his hair a ruffle and letting him make himself comfortable wherever it is that he is. She's not picky at the moment so long as she's comfortable too, so she repositions an elbow and settles.

Except that she's tilting toward Remus, reaching out for a handful of sweater and giving a tug. Sit up, it says. Don't make me stretch out your jumper hauling you over, it warns, because I just might. ]

Come here, dramatic cabin boy. We both said surprising abs.

You shouldn't be surprised. [ That's to Sirius, accompanied with another ineffective attempt at kicking him that turns into a (relatively) gentle knee to his chest. ] We're only... five years—never mind.

[ Maybe he does more have better abs than five years ago, and either way that's a little depressing. And he isn't allowed to slide off toward melancholy. Not when there are already sharks to contend with. And especially not when he's getting kissed, probably.

He sits up easily when tugged, grinning, leaving all the drama and whining behind like they were never there. ]

I've dreamed of this moment. [ In character. Obviously. Remus Lupin takes any real feelings for real people into the metaphorical woods and metaphorically shoots them and buries them in shallow graves, as is only right. ] Captain.

You're the worst cabin boy I've ever hired. [ Kate is rolling her eyes, but her mouth curves into a hint of a smirk before she's too close to Remus for it to be seen. She flashes a smile, and lets their noses bump before their mouths meet, playful.

Maybe it's the angle or that she's sitting up now or happens to be breathing or maybe Sirius was a warm up or maybe she just kind of likes Remus that little bit more, but this kiss is a little bit firmer, not that he would actually know to compare. Her lips are just that little bit open this time, pressed to the smiling curve of his lower one, lingering there, hand still curled in his sweater. ]

Passed over, insul—

[ kissed. He shuts up immediately, smiling giddy against her mouth for a beat before he remembers to kiss her back, and not entirely inexpertly: he tilts his head and presses in, with no tongue but a little bit of suction and a floppily affectionate hand on the side of her neck, mostly in hair. There's a lot of hair.

He keeps his hand there when he moves back to grin at her, wide enough to crinkle up his eyes and nose. He knows better than to give Sirius a look, but he does nudge him with his foot, like a very subtle high five, although possibly not subtle enough to escape notice. But in a nice way, not a frat boy way. Not very much in a frat boy way.

Or, look: this sort of thing doesn't happen to him very often, tipsy and platonic or not. Please don't judge him too terribly harshly for the mild frat boy elements present in that gesture. ]

Now I can die happy. Let the sharks have me.

[Kissed, Sirius thinks, right around the time that Remus cuts off. When eventually he manuevers himself into being in a position to look around at them, he finds that sure enough, it's true. Kissed. Aww.

So he's grinning even before the foot nudge, which makes him grin even more, behind Kate's back--sort of. The point is, Kate doesn't see it. She might notice the foot nudging, and Sirius is prepared to save the day on that one--but he gives it a moment. For Remus' sake. A good friend might want kissing for themselves, especially from Kate--and Sirius does--but he's also supportive.

Three, two, one.]

He's dead, did you hear him. That means I get my-- aaaa--

[Aaaa, low level fear, but he crashes himself against Kate like it's something much worse. The force is enough to push her closer to Remus, twisted together though they all are--don't ask how, it just does, with Sirius leaned forcefully against her, pinning her--]

Sharks! They're closing in on us fast! Oooohhhh, we're doomed--unless we can get out of this one--quickly, one more kiss for luck--

[And since she's close to Remus, it's obviously him that gets first kiss. And the violence of the shark attack is probably enough to forget any bro-y moves anyone might have noticed, jarred straight out of her head. (What a good friend.)]

Hurry--

[ Kate is just seeing the frat boy nudging, and she sort of glances back toward Sirius and then to Remus and her mouth drops open in mock offense. It's really not even a little bit convincing, she's clearly more charmed by their broing than anything else.

Well, until she's shoved forward, and then she's more surprised and off-balance than anything else. That and laughing, one jolted out of her as Sirius flops onto her back and starts babbling about sharks again. ]

Oh my god, you-- what? Oh no, not more sharks.

[ She's totally deadpan and yet somehow still chuckling, against Remus's chest or shoulder or wherever she is. Jaw maybe? Jaw. ]

Alright, alright. If it's for luck.

[ She's not actually that hard to convince. Both of her arms are sort of awkwardly pinned, one against the couch arm where it was previously holding her the other on his shoulder, the other caught between them, splayed across collarbones. She wiggles the first to the nape of his neck, at least, knuckles brushing at floppy hair as she nudges his head to the right angle, the better to tip her chin up and find his mouth again. It's not quite as platonic the second time, because maybe if they really go for it ~~Sirius~~ ~~the notorious Jehoseprat Black~~ ~~the sharks~~ lady luck will be appeased. Also maybe she's drunk enough that it just feels like a good idea. What's a little casual tongue between friends, anyway? ]

[ AMAZING, is what a little casual tongue between friends is. BRILLIANT. THE BEST DAY OF REMUS LUPIN'S YOUNG ADULT LIFE.

That's an exaggeration. But his eyes do go wide for a moment before they close on instinct, and it's only because he's caught mid-laugh that there's anywhere close to a seamless transition into slightly-tonguey kissing instead of a moment of frozen-lipped shock. He still ends up gripping at Sirius' shoulder around her—which is weird, probably, but it's a pointy-fingered clutch, akin to if he were taking a step back from something astonishing and needed the moral and physical support, only slightly less dramatic, you know, because it's just snogging and just Kate.

And he isn't terrible at it, as can also be verified by Heather Mason and William Tsang and a short string of bewildered (not heartbroken, just confused, he was so nice why didn't he call and so on) muggles back home—but not by Mary Abbey, who is probably still furious with him—

Hullo, Kate. Much nicer than Mary Abbey, Kate is. And she tastes like space beer. She also possibly tastes like Johanna, for all Remus knows, and his knowledge that it's at least possible that she does is what is keeping this from being into a tag about sad and tragic yearnings. He's happy, and also drunk, and since Kate is probably the prettiest girl who will ever let him put his tongue in her mouth and not want anything from him afterwards, he takes full advantage, until a decent number of seconds later the situation catches up to him and he laughs into her mouth instead. ]

Good God, [ he says, like some sort of muggle, and flops back against the arm of the sofa again with just as much drama as before all the snogging, but in a happy way, happy enough to not be at all bothered if this is about to segue into Kate and Sirius making out on him. ] Sharks. [ Lovely creatures. His new favourites. ]

[It should, probably, be weirder: to be sat on a sofa, pressed against one of your friends while she's engaged in deep tongue-kissing with your best mate. Your ear somewhere shoulderish, and your best mate gripping at your shoulder while he does a fine and admirable job of tongue-kissing back. It should be weird but it isn't, really. This is probably just the way that it should be.

French kissing. Lingering French kissing. Ooh la la and c'est parti, Sirius thinks, vaguely, with deep approval for the way that Remus is giving back just as good as he's getting. Or so he would guess, considering he's witness to the snogging only via background, and-- noises. Not jealous of Remus, exactly, but he would like a kiss. Tongue in mouth. The commotion of their kissing reminds him of how unkissed he is at the moment, and he's just starting to think toward that end when Remus elects to come up for air.]

Sharks. [--he agrees, and turns his face to bite at Kate's shoulder. Or, well. To press his teeth against the fabric of her shirt.] Rrghhgh. Izmwnt hxe a gwud khxcier.

[Isn't he a good kisser, that is, through shirt mouthful.]

Still schjarks. Rrghhhh. Sxcry.

Sharks. [ Kate agrees without Remus's reverence or Sirius's unintelligibleness, just confirming their existence in the world and possibly the room but definitely the conversation. She reaches back to snarl a hand in Sirius's hair as he bites at her shirt, a chuckle in her voice when she gives his forehead a little shove. ]

Down, boy.

[ He can have another kiss if he likes, somewhat less tonguey and lengthy than his fellow wizard's. Not a comment on his skill, of course, it's just that space beer and warm couches have finally combined and Kate has suddenly realized she's sleepy. Possibly she has been forever, it's that sort of sleepy, that creeps up and drags a wooly blanket over your head so thoroughly it becomes difficult to imagine you could've felt anything else so recently.

She's not especially inclined to fight it, not when there are friends to curl up on, and she tips into Remus's chest, Sirius naturally dominoing over with her. She's not shy about rearranging all three of them to her own comfort, but also strokes fingers through hair more gently and yawns. ]

I want to hear a wizard story.

Mm, a wizard story.

[ Remus makes a failed attempt at arranging his head in a way that would allow making eye contact with Sirius—Sirius The Recently Kissed, presumably, because of course (presumably) he liked. But Remus' attempt is failed because he has Kate on top of him now, and Sirius by proxy, and in the end moving anything more than his head requires more effort than he's willing to put forth in his current state. He makes eye contact with the ceiling instead. ]

We could tell her 'The Fountain of Fair Fortune'.

Nnno.

[Sirius, the Recently Kissed, draped over Kate, presses his nose, briefly, to some unidentifiable bit of her. Shoulder? Back? Who cares. His mouth is still a little tingly from where hers had been pressed. However temporary a kiss it had been, it had still been a Good One--good enough to settle him into simply enjoying cuddly friendly dog pile.

Once upon a time, easy physical affection had been difficult. As a cagey little first year, something as simple as an arm thrown casually around his shoulders had been foreign enough to Sirius that he had twitched away--too trained in posture and dry careful expressions of emotion to be at ease. But all of that has been worn away by now, with few and infrequent exceptions--enough to allow for casual snogging, for sitting on your friends. For laying his cheek against Kate's back and reaching around her to try to push at Remus' forehead, as if to push the suggestion back into his brain.]

Boring. I like 'The Warlock's Hairy Heart'. D'you like hearts getting carved out of chests, Kate? I do.

Warlock's Hairy Shark, [ Remus announces to the ceiling from under Sirius' hand/arm, because alcohol. ]

[That's enough that Sirius' earnest question dissolves into what can only be described as giggling, because, alcohol. It's cute. He squashes his nose against Kate's back again to muffle himself.]

Hairy Shnrk.

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jumping out of order try an stop me

STOP

STOOOOOP

wtf is that icon is he transforming into a wereshark

hush and enjoy the skin

precious wereshark skin

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