alsohawkeye | ataraxion inbox

[yeah too bad thin membranes aren't conducive to sex]

When was I going to try that?

[But rather than be asked to launch into an explanation for what she means by that--though Kate knows enough about her to probably have a guess or two at least--Johanna goes on:]

Are you going to give me instructions?

[ not tonight she has a headache ]

Before?

[ Kate knows enough about her to not really expect it recently but also to have the impression that she had years before that where she probably still sucked at friendship. Oh well. Her persistence is waning. ]

I was hoping you didn't need them.

[everyone has a headache that's no excuse]

Give me a suggestion.

[ ugh why did you have to make it difficult

Kate thinks about it for a long moment or two and finally shrugs against her, words coming on an exhale, a little exasperated, a little considering giving up. ]

Just-- I don't know, just occasionally think about what I would do if our positions were reversed and do that instead.

Like you're always so sensible and rational.

[She tucks her chin against the top of Kate's head all the same, keeping her in close. The loose weight of her arm around her tightens, just a little.]

This is kind of fucked up. Don't pretend it isn't.

[ Kate's response is a grumble that concedes the point even as what she's grumbling is something like 'more than you'. But Johanna curling closer makes it hard to argue and she presses a yawn to her chest. ]

What is? This? [ super descriptive Kate good job ] Or us?

Us.

[She shrugs, sort of, a lift of her shoulders with one still pressed to the mattress.]

I mean, whatever. I don't care. Do you?

Sometimes.

[ It takes Kate a moment to admit it, a hesitant pause as she chews over the question and her answer. ]

But isn't everything? Kind of fucked up? Trying to make things normal hasn't really ever worked out for me.

Yeah.

[She twists a strand of Kate's hair around her index finger and loosens it. It's an idle enough gesture that it might be a mistake--like she thinks she has her own hair. Or maybe not.]

So why are we even talking about it? If it's all fucked up, and it's not normal--and it isn't--then we don't have to talk about it.

[ Whichever. Kate doesn't seem to mind the hand in her hair. ]

Sometimes it's fucked up but good, and sometimes it's just fucked up. It'd be nice if it was more of the but good.

[She sighs, as she loops the strand of hair around her finger again.]

If you want more but good, I don't know what to tell you. You know what this is. [What we are goes unsaid.] So you know it doesn't work that way.

Unless this is all a big lead-up to you asking me to change. Know what I'd say then? No.

I'm not. [ Except for how she kind of is. But only kind of. ]

But isn't it more fun that way? Aren't you happier when it's good?

[She huffs out a little breath--almost a laugh, but it lacks her usual condescending edge.]

Honestly? I don't think too much about it.

Really?

[ Kate is silent for a moment, a little stung by the ease of her brush off. (And a little baffled by the idea of not thinking about everything all the time ad nauseum.) ]

I guess when it's not working you have other options to distract you.

[Her huff of breath this time is way closer to a laugh.]

Like what? Is this a jealousy thing, or are you trying to get into my treehouse?

[wink wink]

Hey, that is supposed to be our tree house.

[ It's maybe a little bit of a jealousy thing. ]

I'm not telling you any more stories if you start letting just anybody in there.

You're not telling me any stories anyways. And who says that I haven't.

[Policy of general admission to the treehouse sorry not sorry]

If my head keeps feeling better maybe I'll tell you Treasure Island. If you stop being a jerk and agree the tree house is our thing.

I built it. I get to decide who goes in it.

[But, after a beat:]

What's Treasure Island about.

I helped! [ Sort of. A little. ] And it was my idea.

It's about a bunch of people racing to find a lost pirate treasure.

Yeah, you're right. You invented treehouses.

[She heaves a sigh, unimpressed with both Kate and that teaser of a summary.]

And?

I did. I was a member of the Swiss family Robinson and I designed the first ever treehouse. You should be paying me royalties every time you use it.

[ Try being unimpressed now. ]

And there are a bunch of pirates and lots of backstabbing and fighting and some alien and animal sidekicks and cannibals and more tigers, obviously.

Don't hold your breath.

[Or do, and then die. She doesn't even know what royalties are--not that she's going to admit it. Royal, Kate being entitled to something that has nothing to do with her, blah blah; she gets the jist.

But, then again...]

Have you even seen the treehouse?

No.

[ And she's clearly disappointed about that. ]

Somebody hasn't invited me, so I didn't even know you'd actually finished it.

Edited 2015-05-27 02:43 (UTC)

You didn't ask.

[And it's not like they're going anywhere now. Idly, she coils a strand of Kate's hair around her finger again, and slowly lets it go.]

There was one good tree in the Gardens at least. Thank god. Looking got really depressing.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject